i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
not ubering you a puppy
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
