Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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