Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
