just tell him i said nine months
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
