If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
