So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
