Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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