My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
