I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
