I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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