guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
