the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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