ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
