my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
