no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
