I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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