1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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