I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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