I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
