I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
