No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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