It's just like the Real World with babies
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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