New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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