Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
