Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's blow job season.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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