i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
