You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
