I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
