yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
When are your genitals available?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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