I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
