we have pet lesbian snakes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
