That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
