Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
