Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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