I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
