maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So many bounce houses so little time
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
