My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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