just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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