honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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