I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
