Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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