I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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