you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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