STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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