everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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