awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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