gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
