Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
