Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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