he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
